Monthly Archives: January 2011

A Sicko’s Rant on Sickness…

I’ve been sick for a while now, hence the lack of updates here on the blog. In my feverish state I figured I’m just gonna write a little bit about sickness. Bare with me as I will rant more than a southern grandma.

You know when you are sick, especially if you have a fever, how you can’t get comfortable whatever you do? You can’t lay down because even though you’re sick, laying down all day is just boring. You can’t sit up because you don’t have the energy to do so. And you can’t half-sit, half-lay down because… well… that is just silly. The biggest problem I have with being sick isn’t the fact that I’m not feeling well, it’s the fact that even though I have no energy, I’m so incredibly bored at the same time. Watching old chick-flicks on HBO only goes so far.
Another thing that bugs me about being sick is the fact that I still have to attend classes. I’ve been sick for a few days now, and even so I’ve been to (almost) every class. Maybe that’s due to my own ambition of graduating Summa Cum Laude, I don’t know, but either way, my professors don’t have much sympathy for the common cold, no matter how gruesome it may be. Some classes are just impossible to miss, especially the ones that are only offered once a week in three hour sessions. Labs are even worse to miss, luckily my four-hour lab was canceled this week (ironically due to the TA being sick), so at least I didn’t have to sit through four hours of pipetting techniques.

There are some good things about being sick as well though, especially if you have a loving significant other that takes care of you. Luckily I do have that, and sometimes it feels as if he reads my thoughts. This morning I woke up at around 5 am because I was coughing like a smoking emphysema patient, and I wanted a glass of water really badly. I did my best telepathic “please get me some water baby” accompanied by some puppy eyes, and sure enough, half an hour later my partner walks in with a glass of water. I’m not usually very high maintenance (I can hear my hubby’s laughter already…), but it’s nice to be taken care of once in a while. And when one part is sick, it’s sort of the other’s obligation to do so.
The other part that is good about being sick is that you are allowed to feel really sorry about yourself. “Starving kids in Africa? Who cares, I’m siiiick”, “Earthquake in Brazil? They don’t know how good they have it under that rubble”, “Child labor in China? Ok, they make my Ibuprofen, so I have to be nice to them”. I can care solely about myself for once without feeling the slightest ounce of guilt, that is definitely needed once in a while.

Anyway, this was more a post to say; “Hey I’m alive (even if it’s barely)”, and that more of my thoughts and rants will come, you just have to be a bit patient (patient, because I’m sick… get it?) with me. I have a few idea on what to come, something about capitalism (that oughta be fun), more on people’s perception of gay people, and I’m definitely doing something on the bible in correspondence to gays. So stay tuned!


Sociology of Sexuality is One Piece of Hot Class!

Last night I had my first class in “Sociology of Sexuality” (for those who don’t know, I’m a Biology major and a Sociology Minor), and all I can say is… WOW. I didn’t really know what to expect from this class going into it, and I’m glad I didn’t because I could never have imagined what the content of the course would be. The main reason I signed up for this class is because I’m gay and I thought that maybe I would learn a little bit about why gays are suppressed in society, etc. Unfortunately the teacher made a point early on to say that she wanted to teach it more in that way, but there just isn’t enough published research in order to base a large section of the class on that subject. We will, however, touch on it, but not as much as may be needed.

Anyway, the class started off as any other class starts off the first time you attend it; introduction to the course and going over the syllabus. Once that was done though we started to get into sex in different cultures, and man nothing was left to the imagination. The whole purpose of this sextion was to understand that how we have sex, and how sex is viewed in today’s society, is not anything that is wired within us since birth, but something that is learned from parents and society as a whole. In order to do this we went over research done on other cultures, mainly about how they have sex and how foreplay is performed. And let me tell you… there are some fucked up societies out there. Of course I only say this because I have my taught notion of what sex should be like, but with that said, damn there are some fucked up societies out there. The biggest surprise to me was that the most widely used form of foreplay in the world was grooming and delousing. Meaning; picking lice out of one’s hair, and making the other person pretty. This is also something that is very prevalent with primates (That’s another one for you Darwin-doubters). In some societies foreplay had to go on for 6-8 hours if the actual penetrating action would even take place. By god, that is some serious petting right there. In others the foreplay got so intense that blood was actually shed.

A funny thing about masturbation was also brought to my attention. In most societies it is actually normal for children to masturbate (this is what the data says, don’t blame the messenger), and not for the adults to do so, yet in our (western) society it is the exact opposite. Tied into this is that the orgasm itself can actually have healing powers, and so can a simple touch by another human. So think about that before you teach your kids that they’ll go blind if they jerk off, when it’s more likely that they’ll go blind from not jerking off.

The most important thing for me personally that I learned in this first session was the little bit we did, in fact, learn about homosexuality. It was a history lesson that everyone should have an understanding about before judging someone for their sexual preference. In ancient Greece homosexuality was not seen as anything abnormal, and was practiced pretty freely, and in some instances even required in order to “please thy master”. At this time Christians and Jews were at war with Greece and of course that brought about a bunch of animosity towards everything they stood for, including the free-spirited homosexual attitude they had. That is explained as one of the major reasons why there is such a stigma around homosexuality in today’s society, and probably why there is such emphasis put on the one section in the bible that makes life less enjoyable for a large group of people (when there are numerous other things in the bible that are ignored – more on this topic to come here btw). It was just interesting to me to find out a little bit about the history about the stigmatization of gays in today’s society.

Overall this seems like a class that I will take away a lot from, both good and bad. I’m starting to feel more and more that sociology as a whole is a subject that should be required for everyone to take. Last semester I took a class called “Social Inequality” and it gave me so much. Sure, I came out depressed after every session, but I have such a broad understanding about inequalities present in today’s society now. And I feel that this class will teach me a great deal about society as a whole as well, even if it will get a little naughty at times. But hey, who said I don’t enjoy being naughty at times?

Is the Internet Making People Cowardly?

A couple of days ago I put up a post about black homophobes. One person commented trying to point out flaws in my arguments, and I really respect that and encourage a discussion (as long as it’s on a good level). We went back and forth for a few comments and then he suddenly stopped commenting. In this case I have no idea what happened, he may come back and answer my comment sooner or later, or he may have had a terrible accident and is in a full body cast for all I know. I’m not pointing fingers at just him, but it did get me thinking; is the fact that it’s so easy to walk away from discussions on the internet making people more cowardly?

If him and I would’ve had the discussion eye to eye, we would’ve discussed it until it was done and over it, or until one of us had to pee, either way the discussion would’ve been finished. On the internet however, if you have a discussion and you come across arguments you cannot combat, something you don’t like, or something you are uncomfortable answering, all you have to do is leave and never come back. I love the internet, and I love the fact that a person can be anonymous and still have an opinion. But I’m not too sure that it’s a healthy thing when it comes to the development of people’s minds. Of course people should hold on to their beliefs and morals, but it’s never wrong to change an opinion because someone else presents you with facts or ideas that may trump the one you had before hand. On the internet this is something that is very hard to attain simply because it’s so easy to walk away from a discussion.

People don’t generally like change, and especially not change within themselves, so changing your own opinion about a subject you feel strongly about may be the hardest thing in the world, especially if you’re a very proud and/or stubborn person. It’s scary for some people to realize that they are wrong, hell it’s scary to me sometimes (just ask my partner), and when you’re provided with such an easy out for admitting that someone else’s opinion trumps yours, most people will take it. I’ve done it multiple times probably without even thinking about it. Sometimes it’s because I don’t feel like it’s worth my time since the person with whom I’m having a discussion won’t ever budge no matter what facts I throw at him. Sometimes it’s just because I rather take the easy way out. Is that wrong? Probably. The more important question is though, has it actually stagnated my own intellectual growth by not finishing discussions and maybe truly understand what a person from another viewpoint is saying? It most likely has.

Ask yourself, how many political, philosophical, or other types of discussions you’ve had on the internet have you left simply because you felt defeated and didn’t want to admit it? For me it’s probably more than I can count, and it’s funny because as I’m writing this I’m starting to remember more and more discussions that I’ve left, and I’m starting to feel quite embarrassed about it. Why can’t I just say “you know what, I really see what you’re saying and I think you’re right about this”? Is that really such a blow to my own ego that I can’t even admit that another person, even on the internet, has a good argument that might make me get more insightful about a particular subject? Maybe if people were more open minded about other people’s ideas and opinions, and not so hard headed about keeping our own unmodified, we would get a more productive and understanding society overall…

What do you think?…




… *logging out*

Black Hompophobic Hypocrites

Blacks are very proud people, and they should be, they fought their way out of slavery, unequal rights, and harassment. I am very aware that things aren’t there yet; even with a black president, inequalities and harassment still exist between black and white people, I see it every day. There is one fundamental thing that has been accomplished though, black people have their rights. Black people can’t legally be discriminated against simply because of their color (even if this still happens every day), black people don’t have any marriage restrictions, and in theory black people have the same opportunities in society as white people have.

For gays it’s a different story. We can still legally be discriminated against simply because of who we are. We can get fired just for being gay, be harassed simply for being gay, and we cannot enjoy the benefits of a marriage, simply because we are gay. Gays do have somewhat of an upper hand compared to other minority groups, that clearly is a double edged sword; we can hide who we are and side step these discriminatory conducts. We don’t have to be harassed unless we disclose who we are. The problem with this is that those of us that chose to live in truth get hurt by the people that chose to sleep around on their wife with their male secretary. So this advantage quickly become a disadvantage for the majority of the minority.

I understand that there are fundamental differences between the black struggle and the gay struggle. But we do have a very fundamental thing in common, we are (or have been) both fighting for our rights. I’m a friend of the black struggle, I understand why there is so much poverty and crime within the black community, and I’ll challenge anyone that calls out black people for just being ‘niggers’ and that it’s in their blood to be lazy or anything of the sorts. I’ve seen the hard numbers that reflect the deep inequality that still exists between black people and white people, and I understand many of the underlying causes for it.

I cannot say I’m getting the same support for my struggle from the black community though. Time and time again I hear rap songs on the radio calling people fag this faggot that, and I know for a fact that the black church is one of the biggest anti-gay institutions in the country. Us gays are going to hell for our ‘sins’, yet it’s ok to do a rap song about killing someone and selling drugs? Don’t get me wrong, I like rap, and it is my primary choice of music genre, but I’m also very aware of which artist I chose to listen to and what they are saying in their lyrics. I’m not religious at all and in many ways I feel that the church is the biggest antagonist when it comes to the progression of, not only gay rights, but society as a whole. The funny thing to me though, is that the black church stands up and condemn homosexuality when the white church was doing the exact same thing to them 50 years ago. It was the black church that was a big force with the passing of prop 8 in Cali, yet if you rewind a few decades the public opinion about interracial marriage was that it shouldn’t exist, and most opponents pointed to the bible as the reason for it. Interracial marriage became legalized because a judge ruled the law unconstitutional, if the public had voted on it, polls from back then showed that 70 something percent would’ve voted against repealing the ban. So why is it that the black church now are turning around and suppressing another group, just like they were once suppressed? Have they really forgot their own history so quickly?

Minorities need to stick together, we’re all in the same boat, and to me it seems very hypocritical to fight for the rights of your own group, and then turn around and suppress another. Who is to say that one person shall have the same rights as everyone else, but that another person should not? I’m not asking the black community to come join pride festivals and fight our struggle for us, that’s a lot to expect, but is it really too much to ask to just back off, and stop working against our struggle for obtaining the same rights that you once fought for?

Ps. I am in no way saying that all black people are homophobic, I know several black people that supports the gay struggle 100%. In this post I’m talking about the people who actually are homophobic.

Intellectual Gays = High School Cheerleaders?

So last night I was bored so I decided to check out a certain chat room at a certain gay internet site I am a member of. The room was called ‘intellectuals’ and there were maybe 30 people in the room when I entered. My first thought was, “cool, people are actually talking in here”, but then I started reading what they were talking about, and it was like a dick measuring competition in pretentiousness. Who could write the wittiest joke, who could write the ‘smartest’ thing, who knew things no one else in the room knew. Anyway, I decided to chime in with something small; I wrote that there were a lot of older people in there (which it was, average age was probably around 45). Someone cleverly responded “define old”, and as he had his age (55) in his name I wrote 55. And that apparently pissed another guy off, saying that I was a child, didn’t know anything about what age was, etc. So I told him I was just kidding, and to chill out, I also told him I have a boyfriend who is 47 years old. He then writes a bitchy novel about me and my relationship, about how my bf fucks me silly and then buys me a Prada jacket (I didn’t know Prada made jackets btw) etc, which he posts in the main chat room. I was actually laughing out loud at it, a 45 years old was attacking someone almost half his age over nothing. Anyway, the rest of my visit in the room progressed with practically everyone ignoring anything I tried to say, except one guy that tried to be nice to me the whole time. I finally decided I’ve had enough so I said good night, but didn’t log out right away due to some private conversations that needed ending. It turned out that the minute people thought I logged out, they started talking shit about me behind my back. I put down ‘lol’ and x’d down the chat room.

I thought about the whole a bit today and it seriously felt as if I was the new member of the high school cheer-leading team. At first I got stared at funny, then the head cheerleader bit my head off as soon as I said something, then I got ignored by the whole squad except the one cheerleader that felt bad about being bitchy, and lastly the whole squad talked about me behind my back once I left the room.

It’s funny because I haven’t spent time in that particular chat room before, however I’ve spent many hours talking to other gays that didn’t feel the need to proclaim themselves as ‘intellectual’, but were highly educated in a variety of fields. And never have I experienced such a clicky (read: bitchy) group of gay guys. If you get the chance you should check the room out, it’s quite entertaining to see middle aged men act like teenage girls. As for me, I think that one time was enough.

Piers Morgan? Really?

Does anyone really like Piers Morgan? I mean, sure he’s kind of handsome, but he has that vibe about himself that makes him out to be a complete asshole. I guess Larry King wasn’t exactly considered a sweetheart, but at least he was an innocent old man. Piers Morgan is just an asshole… Who will go on his show? What celebrity, or half-celebrity will go on a show where some British twat is going to be rude to them? And what person will watch him be rude to people? Simon Cowell was hard on people on Idol, but at least he had a heart somewhere in there, watching Morgan on both …got talent, and the Apprentice, I’m convinced he doesn’t have a heart, or maybe just a teeny tiny black one.

CNN, you dun goofed up.

Update: as some nice man pointed out in the comments section, I had spelled his name “Pierce” instead of “Piers”. Oops.