Monthly Archives: March 2011

Decoding Online Profiles

I’ve already written a guide on how you make your online profile more successful (you can find the guide by clicking on this link). Then I thought… that is not the only information that is good to have when navigating the online dating/sex jungle. I’ve been a member of a few dating/gay online communities for many years now, so I’ve come across pretty much every type of profile and person there is to come across, and therefore I think I am pretty eligible to try and decipher some of the lies that the common dating profile contains. Please take the second part lightly as it’s just generalizations and some are just plain jokes. But maybe you will find this information useful in some way!

I want to start off on a very serious note, this is something that I’ve seen time and time again, so please take this part very seriously. Be aware of scammers!! It’s not very easy to detect a scammer at first, they are usually very nice, and seem very interested in you and what you have to offer as a person. Sometimes you may even have interaction with the scammer for weeks, even months before he makes his true move. There are some very real signs that will help clue you in on whether you’re dealing with a scammer or not.
First, common sense. Does he seem too good to be true? You know the saying “if it seems too good to be true, it probably is”, and it’s usually the case with online encounters as well. A scammer is very skilled with how he interacts with people, he will make it seem as if you’re the perfect soul mates, and agree with mostly everything you’re saying.
Second, does he have excuse after excuse? The excuses can be anything from “I don’t have a camera”, to “I don’t have another picture on my computer”.  A scammer usually only has limited amounts of pictures of himself, simply because he does not look anything like the picture he has up on his profile. That is also why he doesn’t have a web camera even though you can buy for about $10 these days.
Finally, and this is of course the ‘move’ he will make, has he asked you for money? This can be done in a variety of ways, but usually he asks for money in order to come and see you. Please please be aware of this, no matter how badly you want to meet him. Instead you should offer to go and meet him where he lives, and if he has more excuses to why you can’t come there, then you know for sure that it’s a scammer you’re dealing with. He may also ask for money for other reasons, such as “I’m late on my car payment, can you help out?”, or “My mom is in the hospital and I need money to help pay the bills”, etc. In a few cases the person may actually tell the truth, but from my experience they are not in the majority of the cases. Once he gets his money he will disappear never to be heard from again. The scammer may have multiple profiles and be dealing with multiple people simultaneously in order to maximize his profit. Once again, this is very serious, and please look for these signs in order to minimize your risk of being scammed.

Now for the more lighthearted profile decoding. Like I said above, I’ve been browsing the gay dating sites for many years now and there are certain elements of a profile that I always come across and that in the majority of the cases seem to have the same hidden meaning. If a profile says that he is “Discreet”, it simply means that he is either married to a woman and has kids and sleeps around on her with guys on the side, or it means that he’s working for a company or organization that discriminates against gays in a major way. When you see the word “Taboo”, the usual explanation is that the man behind the profile either is a pedophile and want you to role play being his 12 year old son, or he likes to eat shit. If you see someone list their weight at 250 lbs, it’s safe to assume that he is closer to 300 lbs. A profile listing their age at 60, they are more likely closer to 70, and if a profile is listed as 18 it either means that he has been 18 for 11 years, or that he is actually 16 lying about his age in order to not be kicked off the site for being a minor. A profile without a picture, but still stating that he is good looking, usually means he is not. It is also safe to say that you can take off at least two inches off of any type of measurement posted, whether it be height or… you know… And finally, if a profile says that they are “Masculine” but lists their interests as “Gardening, Cooking, Interior Design, etc” it is safe to assume that they are more masculine than RuPaul, but less masculine than Martha Stewart.

What elements have you noticed on dating profiles that always seem to have a hidden meaning?

Pussy News Anchors

What ever happened to news? I mean plain news. I’m so sick of hearing about this person’s opinion and that person’s opinion. I just want plain news stories presented to me. All of the major news networks have this fetish for putting people on air to express their own opinions about different topics. It’s ok when they have an expert talking about the nuclear meltdown in Japan for instance, he doesn’t present his opinions, he’s trying to get facts out there and inform people about what is going on. But when it comes to things like politics or social problems, why do we need to hear about what other people think about the topic on hand?

If you’ve been reading my blog I assume you know by now how I feel about the right wingers. I have never in my life taken what Fox News has reported on seriously. But in this case, the left is as guilty as the right of pushing their agenda down people’s throats, just from the other point of view. And I get it, they get higher ratings for doing so, and MSNBC is just trying to be the counter Fox. I just wish that no one would invite people to express their opinions, or have specific news anchors with a specific agenda. From what I have seen, MSNBC reports more truthfully than Fox does about subjects discussed, Fox has never been shy about lying straight to your face, but when it comes to this particular topic, they are both as guilty.

The reason I started thinking about this is because I watched Meet the Press the other morning. Blondie Mc Pussycat was interviewing Michelle Bachman. Don’t get me wrong, Michelle Bachman is one of the most disgusting people I can think of, she’s up there with Michael Phelps and such. And that is exactly why I got so fucking pissed at David Gregory for being such a little blond pussy ass. He asked I’ll-be-Bachman some good questions, that wasn’t the problem, the problem was that she failed to answer a single one of them. And instead of confronting her, Gregory just let it slide and moved on. Why can’t these news anchors man up and say “If you’re not going to answer my questions I will cut your mic off”? I would’ve done it in a heart beat. Meet the Press is supposed to be a legendary, tough, news program, and it has been reduced to “we’re gonna let everyone say what they want-gabba gabba”. I mean seriously, if you ask someone a direct question, that requires a very simple answer, why do you let them beat around the bush for ten minutes talking about something completely different? It is just beyond me. MAN UP god damn it.

Attention Seekers Will Get Attention

I don’t know if this is some grand scheme by the media to make people ignorant about real issues, or if it’s a much lesser scheme by people who think that we are just sheep who will enjoy any BS they will throw at us. All I know is that in order to make people we don’t want to hear about just go away all together, all we need to do is to not pay them any attention. It’s like the annoying kid in grade school that always thought he was funny when picking on the nerdy kid with glasses. His picking would be fueled by other people giving attention to him when he’s doing it, but it would go away if everyone would just ignore him.

There are some major issues I’m having problems with this week. Number one, Charlie “I’m not on drugs, I just look, and talk like I’m on drugs” Sheen. Who the fuck cares about this asshole? Charlie Sheen has been on every major network these past days talking about his life, his (according to him) non-drug habits, and his canceled TV show. He has even said that there are more important things in the world that needs attention other than focusing on him, yet he sells himself out like the money whore he is now that his show is off the air. I guess he needs to hustle a bit now that he doesn’t have an income anymore. It’s expensive to take care of four kids, a yacht, two-three mansions, two girlfriends, two ex-wives, and numerous million dollar-range motor vehicles.
So, instead of focusing on people that have actual problems, like the ~10% of the U.S. citizens that are out of work at the moment, the media is focusing on this douche that can’t play a role that has a name other than his own (seriously what is that about? Is it that he doesn’t understand that someone is talking to him if they don’t call him Charlie? YOU’RE AN ACTOR MORON). Today I read that Mr. Crackhe… I mean Mr. Sheen has gained one million followers on twitter in 24 hours. Are you kidding me people? Are you really that desperate to hear what this man has to say? You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

The second thing I’ve been thinking about is the whole Westboro Baptist Church hoopla. If you don’t know who they are, they are the people that have been protesting a variety of events, including fallen American soldier’s funerals, with messages like “You’re dead because of America’s support for gay rights”, or “God Hates Fags” etc. They are now in the news because a father who’s son was killed in Iraq sued the church for protesting at his son’s funeral. I don’t have a problem with that at all, I would’ve probably done something way worse than that if it was my kid’s funeral and those nutjobs started chanting their hate speech outside. Yesterday the supreme court ruled that they are allowed to continue their protests at fallen soldiers’ funerals. I have a big problem with that ruling, and people can scream “free speech” all they want, but it’s not a matter of their free speech being contended when they are using hate speech. If they were the KKK no one would lift an eyebrow if the supreme court would’ve ruled against them. It’s because they’re protesting “the gay lifestyle” instead of something society considers as being worse that they get away with it. Anyway, the real issue here is not really the supreme court’s ruling, it’s the fact that these people have a voice at all. Why even bring them up in the news? They are a hate speech group so ridiculous that even the Tea Partiers say “now, those guys are crazy”. Just ignore them and they will eventually go away.

I could talk about other people that should just be ignored, but I feel that by simply posting this text I have given people, that don’t deserve to be given any sort of attention, more attention than I really do want to give them. It’s a paradox to even write a post like this, but someone has to say it, and at least I’m not some big news corporation that is supposed to give legitimate news. I’m just me doing this because I love to write and I want to share my thoughts in some kind of medium. If you don’t like that, just ignore me, see how simple that was?