Category Archives: Homosexuality

Sometimes I will tell you about how it actually is to be gay, is it awesome? Is it hard (pun intended)? Is it normal? Stay tuned

Rick Perry Confuses Me…

So, Rick Perry has a new ad out in which he is extremely offensive to both the gay community and the military. What makes his ad even more reprehensible is that his staff managed to disable the comments section on youtube so that no one can voice their opinions about the ad. Luckily his staff forgot to disable the ratings functionality and with over 300,000 dislikes (compared to the ~8,000 likes), the public’s opinion on this ad is pretty clear. What confuses me about Rick Perry though is that while I feel like going to his house with the sole purpose of spitting in his face, I would most likely end up doing much dirtier things to his face as well.

Because, irregardless of his political views, Rick Perry is fucking hot to me. I’m a gay man and while I am merely 25 years old I am only attracted to men well above 40. Most people immediately make the assumption that it has something to do with money, believe me it does not. I just don’t find younger guys attractive at all. I like my men to be more mature, masculine, and preferably gray haired. It’s just my preference, and unfortunately Rick Perry fits that description to a T. I also have a thing for suits which only further increases my attraction to him. It’s like an internal battle between my big brain and my smaller brain. Luckily my big brain wins out because as excited as my penis gets whenever I see a picture of him, the minute he opens his mouth the excitement turns into anger. I guess there is such a thing as aggressive sex, but I generally prefer to be on the subordinate end on the aggression (TMI I know).

Anyway… To sum up: while I feel like punching the guy in the mouth, I also feel like putting my penis in there. I’m so confused…

Ps. In case you haven’t seen the ad, this is not it, but it’s funny:
 

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Decoding Online Profiles

I’ve already written a guide on how you make your online profile more successful (you can find the guide by clicking on this link). Then I thought… that is not the only information that is good to have when navigating the online dating/sex jungle. I’ve been a member of a few dating/gay online communities for many years now, so I’ve come across pretty much every type of profile and person there is to come across, and therefore I think I am pretty eligible to try and decipher some of the lies that the common dating profile contains. Please take the second part lightly as it’s just generalizations and some are just plain jokes. But maybe you will find this information useful in some way!

I want to start off on a very serious note, this is something that I’ve seen time and time again, so please take this part very seriously. Be aware of scammers!! It’s not very easy to detect a scammer at first, they are usually very nice, and seem very interested in you and what you have to offer as a person. Sometimes you may even have interaction with the scammer for weeks, even months before he makes his true move. There are some very real signs that will help clue you in on whether you’re dealing with a scammer or not.
First, common sense. Does he seem too good to be true? You know the saying “if it seems too good to be true, it probably is”, and it’s usually the case with online encounters as well. A scammer is very skilled with how he interacts with people, he will make it seem as if you’re the perfect soul mates, and agree with mostly everything you’re saying.
Second, does he have excuse after excuse? The excuses can be anything from “I don’t have a camera”, to “I don’t have another picture on my computer”.  A scammer usually only has limited amounts of pictures of himself, simply because he does not look anything like the picture he has up on his profile. That is also why he doesn’t have a web camera even though you can buy for about $10 these days.
Finally, and this is of course the ‘move’ he will make, has he asked you for money? This can be done in a variety of ways, but usually he asks for money in order to come and see you. Please please be aware of this, no matter how badly you want to meet him. Instead you should offer to go and meet him where he lives, and if he has more excuses to why you can’t come there, then you know for sure that it’s a scammer you’re dealing with. He may also ask for money for other reasons, such as “I’m late on my car payment, can you help out?”, or “My mom is in the hospital and I need money to help pay the bills”, etc. In a few cases the person may actually tell the truth, but from my experience they are not in the majority of the cases. Once he gets his money he will disappear never to be heard from again. The scammer may have multiple profiles and be dealing with multiple people simultaneously in order to maximize his profit. Once again, this is very serious, and please look for these signs in order to minimize your risk of being scammed.

Now for the more lighthearted profile decoding. Like I said above, I’ve been browsing the gay dating sites for many years now and there are certain elements of a profile that I always come across and that in the majority of the cases seem to have the same hidden meaning. If a profile says that he is “Discreet”, it simply means that he is either married to a woman and has kids and sleeps around on her with guys on the side, or it means that he’s working for a company or organization that discriminates against gays in a major way. When you see the word “Taboo”, the usual explanation is that the man behind the profile either is a pedophile and want you to role play being his 12 year old son, or he likes to eat shit. If you see someone list their weight at 250 lbs, it’s safe to assume that he is closer to 300 lbs. A profile listing their age at 60, they are more likely closer to 70, and if a profile is listed as 18 it either means that he has been 18 for 11 years, or that he is actually 16 lying about his age in order to not be kicked off the site for being a minor. A profile without a picture, but still stating that he is good looking, usually means he is not. It is also safe to say that you can take off at least two inches off of any type of measurement posted, whether it be height or… you know… And finally, if a profile says that they are “Masculine” but lists their interests as “Gardening, Cooking, Interior Design, etc” it is safe to assume that they are more masculine than RuPaul, but less masculine than Martha Stewart.

What elements have you noticed on dating profiles that always seem to have a hidden meaning?

Are We Really This Pathetic?

The other day I had an online conversation with a gay man. He was an older nice gentleman, not in a relationship but he did have some thoughts on my relationship. For those of you who don’t know; I’ve been in a relationship for over four years now. My partner is older than I am, but hey, that’s how I like em. Anyway, this older gentleman and I had a conversation about a variety of stuff, but it was the last thing we talked about that really got my mind rolling. He gave me advice that, in reality probably is good advice, but at the same time… are gay people really so pathetic that I would have to take it?

The advice he gave me was that I should always have safe sex, even though I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for over four years. It doesn’t sound so terrible, and to some it may even sound like a smart thing to do. But think about this, my partner and I haven’t had safe sex in over three years. In the beginning of our relationship we did, and after a year we got tested and decided to skip the rubber. I like bare backing, I can’t lie about that, but I would never do it with someone that I can’t trust or that I don’t know is clean. So, now after we’ve made this decision together, should I all of a sudden say to him that I want to bring the little rubber ducky into our sex life again? So much for a hot threesome…

Telling my partner that I want to bring condoms back into our relationship is telling him one of two things; I’m either telling him “Haha, I’m cheating on you so we need to use rubbers again because I don’t want to give you my adulterating bugs.” or I’m telling him “Bitch, I don’t trust you, so you gotta wear this condom”. I’m not sure which one is better to be honest… Either way, it’s all about trust.

I’ve never heard anyone give the advice to a straight couple before. “You’ve been married four years? Time to get the rubber back into the relationship, you know… with all the HIV floating around”. Come on, the only reason he said it was because we have a same-sex relationship. I’m not gonna brush under the carpet that gays are more promiscuous than straights, because we are, it’s even scientifically proven that we are, but the data also shows that gay men are about as unfaithful as straight men are. So why should there be any more risk of catching a bug if you’re in a gay relationship, than if you’re in a straight one? When HIV first blew up around the world it is true that gay men was a larger group of infected people than any other, but it has pretty much evened out over the years, and now the rates are about the same between gays and straights. The more important question however is, why should I have to be more worried about my partner cheating on me, than a straight woman? As I said, the data shows that straight men are in the same range of being as unfaithful as gay men, but I can’t see anyone having this conversation with a straight married/tied-up woman.

The whole thing comes down to how we see ourselves and our group. Are we really so pathetic that we must constantly be on our toes about our partners cheating even if the relationship has been solid for four plus years? I can tell you that I won’t be, I trust my partner completely, and I’m pretty sure he trusts me completely as well. And honestly, if someone has this conversation with me again, I think I will be more offended than I was this time…

Black Hompophobic Hypocrites

Blacks are very proud people, and they should be, they fought their way out of slavery, unequal rights, and harassment. I am very aware that things aren’t there yet; even with a black president, inequalities and harassment still exist between black and white people, I see it every day. There is one fundamental thing that has been accomplished though, black people have their rights. Black people can’t legally be discriminated against simply because of their color (even if this still happens every day), black people don’t have any marriage restrictions, and in theory black people have the same opportunities in society as white people have.

For gays it’s a different story. We can still legally be discriminated against simply because of who we are. We can get fired just for being gay, be harassed simply for being gay, and we cannot enjoy the benefits of a marriage, simply because we are gay. Gays do have somewhat of an upper hand compared to other minority groups, that clearly is a double edged sword; we can hide who we are and side step these discriminatory conducts. We don’t have to be harassed unless we disclose who we are. The problem with this is that those of us that chose to live in truth get hurt by the people that chose to sleep around on their wife with their male secretary. So this advantage quickly become a disadvantage for the majority of the minority.

I understand that there are fundamental differences between the black struggle and the gay struggle. But we do have a very fundamental thing in common, we are (or have been) both fighting for our rights. I’m a friend of the black struggle, I understand why there is so much poverty and crime within the black community, and I’ll challenge anyone that calls out black people for just being ‘niggers’ and that it’s in their blood to be lazy or anything of the sorts. I’ve seen the hard numbers that reflect the deep inequality that still exists between black people and white people, and I understand many of the underlying causes for it.

I cannot say I’m getting the same support for my struggle from the black community though. Time and time again I hear rap songs on the radio calling people fag this faggot that, and I know for a fact that the black church is one of the biggest anti-gay institutions in the country. Us gays are going to hell for our ‘sins’, yet it’s ok to do a rap song about killing someone and selling drugs? Don’t get me wrong, I like rap, and it is my primary choice of music genre, but I’m also very aware of which artist I chose to listen to and what they are saying in their lyrics. I’m not religious at all and in many ways I feel that the church is the biggest antagonist when it comes to the progression of, not only gay rights, but society as a whole. The funny thing to me though, is that the black church stands up and condemn homosexuality when the white church was doing the exact same thing to them 50 years ago. It was the black church that was a big force with the passing of prop 8 in Cali, yet if you rewind a few decades the public opinion about interracial marriage was that it shouldn’t exist, and most opponents pointed to the bible as the reason for it. Interracial marriage became legalized because a judge ruled the law unconstitutional, if the public had voted on it, polls from back then showed that 70 something percent would’ve voted against repealing the ban. So why is it that the black church now are turning around and suppressing another group, just like they were once suppressed? Have they really forgot their own history so quickly?

Minorities need to stick together, we’re all in the same boat, and to me it seems very hypocritical to fight for the rights of your own group, and then turn around and suppress another. Who is to say that one person shall have the same rights as everyone else, but that another person should not? I’m not asking the black community to come join pride festivals and fight our struggle for us, that’s a lot to expect, but is it really too much to ask to just back off, and stop working against our struggle for obtaining the same rights that you once fought for?

Ps. I am in no way saying that all black people are homophobic, I know several black people that supports the gay struggle 100%. In this post I’m talking about the people who actually are homophobic.

Intellectual Gays = High School Cheerleaders?

So last night I was bored so I decided to check out a certain chat room at a certain gay internet site I am a member of. The room was called ‘intellectuals’ and there were maybe 30 people in the room when I entered. My first thought was, “cool, people are actually talking in here”, but then I started reading what they were talking about, and it was like a dick measuring competition in pretentiousness. Who could write the wittiest joke, who could write the ‘smartest’ thing, who knew things no one else in the room knew. Anyway, I decided to chime in with something small; I wrote that there were a lot of older people in there (which it was, average age was probably around 45). Someone cleverly responded “define old”, and as he had his age (55) in his name I wrote 55. And that apparently pissed another guy off, saying that I was a child, didn’t know anything about what age was, etc. So I told him I was just kidding, and to chill out, I also told him I have a boyfriend who is 47 years old. He then writes a bitchy novel about me and my relationship, about how my bf fucks me silly and then buys me a Prada jacket (I didn’t know Prada made jackets btw) etc, which he posts in the main chat room. I was actually laughing out loud at it, a 45 years old was attacking someone almost half his age over nothing. Anyway, the rest of my visit in the room progressed with practically everyone ignoring anything I tried to say, except one guy that tried to be nice to me the whole time. I finally decided I’ve had enough so I said good night, but didn’t log out right away due to some private conversations that needed ending. It turned out that the minute people thought I logged out, they started talking shit about me behind my back. I put down ‘lol’ and x’d down the chat room.

I thought about the whole a bit today and it seriously felt as if I was the new member of the high school cheer-leading team. At first I got stared at funny, then the head cheerleader bit my head off as soon as I said something, then I got ignored by the whole squad except the one cheerleader that felt bad about being bitchy, and lastly the whole squad talked about me behind my back once I left the room.

It’s funny because I haven’t spent time in that particular chat room before, however I’ve spent many hours talking to other gays that didn’t feel the need to proclaim themselves as ‘intellectual’, but were highly educated in a variety of fields. And never have I experienced such a clicky (read: bitchy) group of gay guys. If you get the chance you should check the room out, it’s quite entertaining to see middle aged men act like teenage girls. As for me, I think that one time was enough.

Sweedie’s Guide to Online Dating Success

I like to chat with people online, I’ve been doing it for a long time and I still do it from time to time. When I started chatting the object was to explore my newly discovered sexuality, and eventually find someone nice and respectable to go on a date with. A lot of people frown upon online dating, and a lot of people should. It can be extremely dirty… but it can also be extremely giving, it mostly depends on what you make it out to be. If you ignore the dirty people just looking for sex, it can be an incredible experience that potentially could find you a mate for life. This was how I met my partner of (soon to be) four years, and this is how some of my best friends met as well. There is some luck involved in finding someone online, and in order to improve your odds, there are some guide lines that should be followed. So here comes my guide on how to create, form, and sculpt your online dating profile in order to improve your odds of finding a potential mate. (I’m going at it from a gay perspective, but straight people are welcome to continue reading on if they like… just be careful so I don’t turn you).

SHOW A PICTURE!!!!!

Sorry for screaming, but this is THE most important step in creating a successful online dating profile. If you’re uncomfortable with showing your face, show your feet, show your ear, show your flabby stomach if that’s what you got, I don’t care what it is, SHOW SOMETHING! It is scientifically proven that an online profile with a picture showing is 456% more successful than profiles without one. Ok, that might have been statistics pulled straight from my boy pussy, but I know for a fact that people on the hunt for someone don’t tend to look at profiles that don’t have a picture showing. So put up a picture!!! Have you done it yet? I’m waiting……. DO IT!!

Write Something Interesting About Yourself

Or at least write something interesting regardless of what it is. If you write something original, funny, or clever you will stand out from the pack. The standard “Hello, I’m X, and I’m looking for Y” doesn’t really work in the online dating jungle anymore (unless you find someone that has a dyeing attraction to variables). Another thing to point out, that I also addresses further down in this point, Be Positive! I see profiles that are filled with self load, and sometimes even anger. Just something as simple as writing “I’m interested in a person that has these qualities: x, y, z” will give such a more positive image of yourself than if you wrote “If you have qualities x, y, z, Don’t contact me!!”. You don’t want to come over as arrogant and angry at the world, nor self loading and desperate. Try to find a good balance of positiveness, originality, humor, and substance.

Make Your Profile As Complete As Possible

Fill out as many options as you’re comfortable with. Not only will this give other people a better sense of who you are, but it will also generate more hits towards your profile when people use the search function on the website.

Look At Other People’s Profiles

Most dating sites have a feature that will allow other people to see who has visited their profile. It seems as if most people are interested to see who has checked them out, and usually they click on those profiles to check them out in return.

Don’t Be Afraid To Say Hi

Even if you think that a person you find attractive is way out of your league, say hi! The worst thing that can happen is that they don’t say hi back, or turns out to be a complete ass (but who wants those people anyway, right?). Spark up a conversation, but don’t start with “You’re so fucking hot, I want to suck you so bad”. That might work if the person you’re approaching is a total slut, but most of the times it doesn’t generate anything but aggression and disgust. Be nice, and take it slow, talk to someone online as you would in real life.

Don’t Pity Yourself

“I’m so lonely, I haven’t had a date in ages, wah wah” STOP IT! No one wants to hear about your failed dating life. Even if you do feel sorry for yourself, and nothing is going your way, don’t let other people know. It’s an instant turn off, and I promise you that being positive will give you a much better chance of getting some interested in you.

Be Truthful

Don’t lie about yourself, it will only come back to haunt you. What if you claim that you have a 9 inch penis, and then you actually get a date with someone and it turns out you only have a 5 inch… awkwaaard. Of course penis size isn’t the only example, and definitely not the most important one, but you get what I mean. Don’t post pictures of someone else, don’t claim that you’re fit as a rock and then show up with a 40 inch waist, don’t claim to make 100 grand a year and then post a picture of you chilling on the front porch of your trailer. This doesn’t mean that you need to reveal everything about yourself right away, but when you do reveal something about yourself, be truthful about it.

Don’t Be Too Picky

You might want to only talk to the people that you find attractive, but there are so many interesting people out there. One thing that I have found is that the people that are very good looking and get a lot of attention won’t pay you much attention in return. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go for it, but just consider talking to someone that you might not find incredibly attractive at the first glance. A person is like an orange, it’s all pretty and tanned on the outside, but the peel is not what you’re after, it’s all the meat on the inside that’s the interesting part. And if you’re lucky, you might even choke on a seed once you get in there.

So, to sum up. Be original, be interesting, show some form of picture, don’t be an ass, don’t eat the peel of the orange, and just be yourself. This will take you a long way, and I promise you it will at least generate more hits to your online dating profile.

The Gays Are To Blame!

This topic is not really related to what I usually discuss on here, but it made me so angry that I needed to say something about it.

I will start this post off by saying; Fuck you, you mothafucking catholic piece of shit. There, I feel better. So, many of you have probably already heard about all the pedophilia scandals that have surfaced from the catholic church. Not only have numerous priests sexually abused children, but the Pope have even tried to cover the whole thing up. To me this is not surprising at all, the catholic church has always had sort of a pedophile-stamp on its name, at least to me and my closest friends. But this whole story is just getting worse and worse. Apparently the popes ‘right hand’ – Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, now blame the gays, or more specifically, homosexuality in its entirely, for these abominations. To quote Amy Poelher and Seth Myers from SNL’s Weekend Update — REALLY?

Yes, homosexuality is to blame for the pedophiles incapability of restraining themselves from touching little kids, and their cowardliness of not admitting that they have a problem and trying to suppress them by becoming celibate priests. In his remarks, the Cardinal quotes a study he ‘recalls’ saying that pedophilia is more related to homosexuality than celibacy. Honestly, I don’t think it is related to any of the two, if you want to be celibate, be celibate, but be completely sure about why you’re becoming celibate. If you just want to score a Disney show and wear tight jeans, fine. But if you’re becoming a priest and thus celibate because you’re aware of the fact that you have some type of sexual disturbance, like having sexual fantasies about children for instance, and thinks that by withholding sex completely it will go away, then you probably need to rethink your decision.

Being gay has nothing to do with having sexual thoughts about kids. Of course there are gay pedophiles too, but I would guess that the percentage of pedophiles is about the same in the gay world as they are within the straight world. There are sick people in all groups, but the really sick ones are the people that don’t admit that they have a problem and seek professional help and instead turn to something as abstract as religion to try to heal themselves. Go and see a psychiatrist for god’s sake.

This whole story makes me sick to my stomach, and it really affirms my belief that religion is mostly an evil power-cartell driven by sick people with waay too much influence over millions of sheep. To end this post on a ironic note, the catholic church as an entity needs to burn in hell.

Update:
Bill Donahue (I believe his official title is “Asshole”) was on Larry King the other night discussing this whole issue. First he says that there has been good steps taken to eliminate the child molestation problems, like excluding gays from the church. Second he says that the sexual abuse was not pedophilia, but homosexuality, because the kids where post-pubescent (a.k.a 11-13 years old). You are out of your mind Bill, it’s not pedophilia as long as the kids have gone through puberty? I’m really starting to understand where the Catholic Church is coming from on this whole thing. It’s a matter of “We can do no wrong, so lets blame homosexuality for our wrong doings”. I guess that is kind of in coupe with how the church in its entirety is run, you sin – confess it, then step away from it.
This is an evil organization that does everything to bring hatred toward my people, EVEN THOUGH they are the ones that have been molesting children and tried to cover it all up.