Rick Perry Confuses Me…

So, Rick Perry has a new ad out in which he is extremely offensive to both the gay community and the military. What makes his ad even more reprehensible is that his staff managed to disable the comments section on youtube so that no one can voice their opinions about the ad. Luckily his staff forgot to disable the ratings functionality and with over 300,000 dislikes (compared to the ~8,000 likes), the public’s opinion on this ad is pretty clear. What confuses me about Rick Perry though is that while I feel like going to his house with the sole purpose of spitting in his face, I would most likely end up doing much dirtier things to his face as well.

Because, irregardless of his political views, Rick Perry is fucking hot to me. I’m a gay man and while I am merely 25 years old I am only attracted to men well above 40. Most people immediately make the assumption that it has something to do with money, believe me it does not. I just don’t find younger guys attractive at all. I like my men to be more mature, masculine, and preferably gray haired. It’s just my preference, and unfortunately Rick Perry fits that description to a T. I also have a thing for suits which only further increases my attraction to him. It’s like an internal battle between my big brain and my smaller brain. Luckily my big brain wins out because as excited as my penis gets whenever I see a picture of him, the minute he opens his mouth the excitement turns into anger. I guess there is such a thing as aggressive sex, but I generally prefer to be on the subordinate end on the aggression (TMI I know).

Anyway… To sum up: while I feel like punching the guy in the mouth, I also feel like putting my penis in there. I’m so confused…

Ps. In case you haven’t seen the ad, this is not it, but it’s funny:
 

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6 responses to “Rick Perry Confuses Me…

  1. Amusing post, but it looks like a block of text from the start of the article got accidentally pasted at the end.

    • Thanks. And yes, you’re right. It got screwed up when I inserted the picture, I thought it just got deleted but apparently it moved, lol.

  2. In Texas its known that perry is a big ole cocksucker. if he keeps it up i think eventually he’ll be outed. the rumors have been around a long time and i personally know people whom he has come onto. he’ll get his when the time is right- karma is a bitch!

  3. Love the post. You’re right up my alley. Perry, on the other hand? Not so much. I suspect he’s latent. Maybe your penis DOES have a shot, but I fear if this yahoo gets the electoral nod, then WE, as a country, will wind up being the ones getting fucked. Didn’t we learn ANYTHING from the last wrinkle dinked Texan that conned his way into the Oval Office? Ugh.

    • Luckily I don’t think Mr. Perry (*twisting my nipples*) has any chance of becoming president. Instead we’re getting Mr. Third Marriage as the candidate, which means four more years of Obama 🙂

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